Anger is Hurt that you are too hurt to admit. -Jillian D.

I am so fucking angry right now, but I know that deep down it isn't anger, it's pain. I am hurt. I am hurting, bad. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. I woke up in a great mood today and it has only gone downhill since then. It didn't get better until I talked to one of my besties, and she reminded me that eventually I will be past this point in my life, and I will find that one guy who can sweep me away with just a glance. Who isn't afraid to kiss me in public, and twirl me around when I hug him. But until that day I have allot of time to find myself.

I know that this isn't permanent, I don't want it to be, but sometimes I just get jealous of all those people who have found what they want and are living a happy and secure life. While I am stuck in this limbo, between life, love, and time.

It might have something to do with the fact that one of my good friends has been put into the mothering position, ready or not. I am in no way advocating teenage pregnancy, or looking to get prego, but I feel like I am behind the ball, but then I remember that I don't care what others are doing, I need to do this for myself, not for someone else.


I have never felt so much like my own person, but at the same time I feel as if I am not a person yet, but a child still finding herself. I guess I will feel like that for a long time though, life has no constants. I will always be changing, and I am always searching for that one person who will find me and change with me as we move through life.