Sitting in a room, made up of only big white walls.

It is 1:18AM, I know because I have been staring at the clock for the past 20 minutes, ignoring both my computer and the T.V. I don't know what is wrong with me right now, but what ever it is, it best be gone by tomorrow. This whole turn I am taking in my life, where I don't give a shit about anyone elses opinions, seems to have me rattled. Maybe I am nervous about having strayed from my norm, but I know that it was the best decision for me at the moment.

I went snooping again, I really should stop, but it is so attractive, like a magnet. Like my bestie says "I have a loser magnet in my vagina" I say "I cant stand not knowing". I have to find out everything I can about people, which with the aid of certain social networking sites, is quite simple. However I never leave with the answers I want. Why is it that I can never get what I want? Wait, now that I think about it, I don't really know what I want yet. *sigh* This soul searching shit is hard work.

Here is where my self therapy comes in..... anyone who knows me can tell that I am a music junkie. I listen to anything and everything. Well, almost, there are some exceptions which I wont list here. Music is an art form, one that has as much depth as literature, with the color spectrum of a beautiful painting. As Paramore says "Somehow, every thing's gonna fall into place, if only we had a way to make it fall faster everyday. " then again, life isn't about your destination, it's about the trip.

So, even though I do not know what I want, and I feel like a bug under a microscope, I know that eventually life is going to end and all that will be left is the kingdom. So I should stop being worried about the past, or other people and be concerned with myself. So even though I am stuck I my room, with its' white walls, I am not trapped in it anymore, now if I can just push myself out the door.